I cherish my relationships a lot and hold everyone very dear to my heart. Everyone around me knows that, if you bother to find out. I believe God who created us or whatever you believe in, created us for co-dependence and not independence. We are built for connection and this can be seen all around us; in marriage, nature, even on our bodies. Can you imagine the chaos, if your left leg decides to go one way and the right leg the other? The friendship and love I’ve experienced in these last few months is overwhelming and indescribable. This piece is just an out-pour and appreciation to that effect.
You see, if there is one thing I detest so much it would be rejection. You know that feeling you have when you say “hi” to someone you are very sure you know and (s)he gives you a blank stare? Yes, that one! So I’d rather just observe and perceive than going out of my way/shell. Believe me every one has that protective covering, a wall or just a part of your life where you don’t allow anyone or just few. But then I discovered that I keep limiting, restricting and resigning my self to the one thing I detest. Rejection! Being aloof, I believe is a personal court-martial and a cardinal sin or outrageous damage anyone can inflict on oneself.
Come to think of it, when we say things like “I’m a reserved person” I kind of wonder who or what are we reserving ourselves for? Now I’m not validating waywardness or “whatchamacallit”. Still you’ve got to let yourself out and feel like the real you, live the life you want to live. In fact, I’d say the reason you allege you are reserved is because you’ve got a low self esteem. Yeah I said it!
We are so engulfed in daily routines and survival mentality that we have even forgotten who we really are. It’s like waking up in the morning and putting on this imaginary personality/aura like an outfit. We hide under our polite conversations, sunny smiles, yet we go through so much shite underneath. So you want people to have a specific image/idea of who you are which is often times different from the real you. So you act like you want them to see you, yet you complain when you are being judged based on who they see or perceive you to be. When that happens we ought not to be mad at the world because that’s the image we project to the world.
As I close, I’m gonna submit that to see more of a person than (s)he reveals, a little smile, a hug, a handshake, a piercing look, a rub on the back brings out more of a person than you can ever imagine. And that is where and how the truest friendships/relationships start. There is a part in all of us seeking to be loved and asking; do you really see me? Can you really hear me? Do I mean anything to you? Feel the need and you’d have done more for yourself than the person. Ciao