Of Men, cocks and their offsprings.

As I watch through the scene, the same story plays out in almost every black movie I see. The woman and children are having a hard time living, paying the bills, feeding etc while the man who is supposed to be the father is out there living a freelance life. A life with no worries. Even when the lady makes attempt at getting some upkeep from the man he chases her off like a goat. He puts down his foot and rebuffs all attempts to milk him as he thinks.

Am like what the hell is wrong with the male folk? Why do have to answer to the wrong names for all the right reasons? I’m sure it wasn’t like this years ago when you fell in love in high school. Promising each other heaven on earth. “I’m gonna take care of you babay”

The dates, the flowers, the dinner, some even go to the extend of giving out rings to make her double sure he’s Mr Right , while he’s only Mr. Right Now.

Where did all that love go? Where are all the dreams you both had as teenagers?

So many instances as this paint the female folk as being gullible. Whereas, the men in their lives are not living up to expectations. Failing to fulfill their part of the contract. Only to surface years later when the child makes a head way in life, hoping that an apology will suffice all the years of absence. Where were you when the child was growing up. what investments did you make in his life. And talking about investments, it’s not all about money. what about the psychological, emotional investments?

As I ponder on these thoughts I begin to see the reality even in our world. The same thing happens and what pervades the movies is not just a work of fiction or an attempt to libel.

This whole story bears a striking semblance to the cock and the hen. While the cock is about to mount the hen he makes his feathers wide showing off his strength and level of protection he offers. On getting his object of desire, he goes his way as if nothing happened. Weeks later the hen hatches the chicks and then the problems begin. She has to feed the chicks rooting the dumps and gutters around. She has to provide the shelter and heat for the chicks most of all she needs to protect the chicks from the hawk/eagle.

Coming back to saner climes, the African mentality, sometimes absolves the father of the outcomes of dysfunctional homes err… relationships. Proverbs  exist such as “omo to da ni ti baba e, eyi ti o da ni ti iya e”. (a good child is the father’s, a bad one is his mother’s). Why should only the men take glory for the success of the children and the mother for otherwise? If the man wants a good child why didn’t he sleep with himself and bear the child. Another of such proverbs is “oke oku loku re baba omo lo lomo”. ( No matter what, a father owns his child.)

African Society paints the man as solely independent. He can do whatever he decides with little or no implications to him. A man can have as many wives/mistresses he wants but a woman is restricted to one man. A man’s decision in a family or relationship is final. Why must this happen?

While I would not want to be hanged for treason, I need to ask some honest questions

What makes a man to neglect his duties as a father?

Was it intentional?

Are men just after the thrills of the moment while they roll in the hay?

Did the woman offend her?

Or were his dreams just a flash in the pan or just what they were … Dreams?

As the case is, questions are always more than answers…

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