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We Have Moved.

image credit -seroundtable.com

image credit -seroundtable.com

Dear Esteemed Readers,

We are excited to announce that the obafemifawibe.wordpress.com blog has moved! As of June 21 , 2014 we have moved our Blog to http://obafemifawibe.com, to give us a robust space to serve you our esteemed readers better. We like to appreciate your loyal readership and support on our old platform.

Why Did We Move?

We are expanding and this website allows us to spread our tentacles, bringing you new insightful, thought provoking articles and of course intriguing fiction series like STRANGE BEDS.

What do I need to do?
1. We would love you to update your rss/ blog reader settings to the new blog. Please add http://obafemifawibe.com/feed to your favorites or RSS feeds to keep up with our posts.

2. Don’t forget to be a part of the community by reading, commenting and sharing our articles via Social media etc.

We’ve moved, and we believe you’ll move with us. Just click the link below and see you at our new website,
http://obafemifawibe.com/

Kind Regards
Admin
http://Obafemifawibe.com

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Clarity: What a Dwarf Cup of Water Taught Me About Terms & Conditions.

It was a sunny afternoon in JSS 1. I was new to the secondary school system. Coming from a private primary school where every pupil is monitored and treated specially (why won’t they, I no dey pay?)
Everything was new to me. The most intriguing was the level of independence each pupil had. No teachers staying in class all day, different teachers for each subject and some would still decide not to show up. This golden lesson on terms and conditions was passed down to me just by the window to my classroom by my classmates. I found a group of new classmates arguing and haggling, so I decided to join them out of curiosity. Little did I know I was the mark. A boy held a dwarf cup full of water and claimed no one could ever finish the water in it. I laughed and looked at them ridiculously. How on earth wont I finish this small cup of water? I retorted.

The boy holding the cup shouted “You cant, and I can bet my life on it, oya bring out your money” he said as he dropped a new 50 naira note.
O_O “chai! See money”, I said under my breath. I looked at the boy, his money and the dwarf cup of water I was told I could not finish. I laughed and dropped my bet. There was an uproar. I few nairas exchanged hands. Those were the side betting. I picked the cup of water and downed its content in one gulp, smiling. I was a winner. I had extra cash with me. As I made for the bookie hoping to claim my winnings. The boy asked to check If I had actually finished the water. I became puzzled, is he blind or what I asked. After careful inspection, he announced I did not. My eyes turned red. The world literally froze in time, just like the Nicki Minaj pepsi advert. “It’s a lie, you are cheats” I bellowed trying to conceal my tears. “Oya prove it.” I asked locking his white shirt in a grip. And he did show me. What he showed me has stuck with me for years. He said no one could finish the water without leaving those tiny droplets of water. It then dawned on me how foolish I had been. The possibility of an easy win had clouded my reasoning. I did not clarify what the bet was about. I had sized up the dwarf cup and its content and acted gullibly. And that’s what most people do. They sign documents and contracts without reading the fine lines. Yet when a breach of contract occurs, they scream foul play. Albeit, if they had taken time to read the contract papers well, they would have been able to negotiate a better contract or sign no contracts at all.
Are you about to sign a document? Here are a few tips that could help when signing your next document.

1. A contract or agreement is a document that states terms of engagement between two parties. It could be for any purpose. For example, because I have a blog, you expect me to post articles that enlighten and inform you on my blog. While I expect you to read, comment and share my posts on social media. Then we agree by signing. You get the drift? Right! Let’s move to the next point.

2. Read The entire Document: You need to read and understand the T&Cs of any agreement before signing because simply put, that’s what makes up the agreement. once you sign, you are bound by whatever was written as a term in that agreement.

3. Identify Vague Terms: A term needs to be explicit not implicit. Because contracts and agreements are expectations of parties involved, some terms may have different meanings to each party. There’s really nothing like a hidden clause in an agreement. It may only be vague. If a term is vague or you don’t really understand, you need to communicate to the other party to clarify.

4. You are not under any obligation or coercion to sign any agreement if it seems too demanding. Sometimes, agreements go back and forth between parties several times before they agree on a final one.

5. If there’s a breach of contract, you have the right to sue and are liable to be sued.

6. If a contract seems to good to be true, it may actually not be good at all.

7. I have fulfilled my part of this contract by posting this article. Oya biko, fulfill yours by commenting and please share.
Thanks.

Don’t forget to follow me on twitter @phemyte

Lessons From The Jungle: A Tribute To Maya Angelou (1928 – 2014)

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. #MayaAngelou

 

Every morning in the jungle the lion knows he must roar and scare the deer out of his hideout or else he goes hungry for the day.

Every morning in the Jungle, the deer knows that he must outrun the lion or else he becomes food to the lion.

 Every morning in the jungle the hunter knows he must aim sharp or else he goes home empty handed and his family starves.

So Every morning, the lion wakes up and begins to roar to petrify the deer. Because he understands his strength and the power of his roar.

Every morning, the deer wakes up and begins to run for his dear life. Because he understands that for his life to be safe, he needs to run as far as possible from the roar of the lion that terrifies and transfixes him.

Every morning the hunter wakes up and begins to aim. Either for the lion or the deer. Because he understands the power of his gun.

 

Same jungle, same morning, different characters and different perspectives.

The lion did not chose to be a lion but he has adapted to his life. He understands his strength.

The deer also did not chose to be a deer but he has adapted to his life. He understands his weaknesses and makes up for it with his legs.

However, the hunter has chosen to be one and he has done everything required to be a hunter.

Which are you? The lion, the deer or the hunter?

You may not be able to choose your parents, your country or skin color, but you don’t need to let those factors deny you the life you were created to lead. Your background should not be strong enough to keep your back on the ground.

A great poet and biographer, Maya Angelou passed on to the great beyond yesterday. Her life is cocktail of fortunes and misfortunes, glee and gloom. Hailing from the sexual abuse of her mother’s boyfriend, to being mute. On to gracing the stage of Porgy and Bess with her dance steps. From pimp to bimbo. Poet, journalist and author. Your life was indeed a full one and clearly reflects that the true path to success, peace, joy and fulfillment in life is to decide. To choose to be yourself. Define your life and actively pursue it. No one owes you your right to life. No one owns your right to happiness. It all begins and ends (maybe not) with you.

On the pulse of this great morning, as we celebrate you. Not only do we know why the caged bird sings but we also know it is now free.

Maya Angelou

#FlashFiction: STRANGE BEDS 3

A hand shook me vigorously. “Sister, we don reach challenge O!” The voice was distant yet gruffy. I stirred. A little shake and a clearer voice startled me.

“Stop touching my laps.” I screamed at whoever was doing the shaking. I opened my eyes and was surprised I was still in the cab. I looked at the back seat. A young school girl was seated, clutching her drawing board to her chest. She must be a new student because her uniform was new. A young lady in white sat directly behind me. My eyeballs dilated. The white handkerchief gagging me. OMG! It must have been a dream. I looked at the driver snickering at me.

“Pay me my money and get down.” He bellowed at me. “Na me send you night waka? Ashawo, na your type dem dey carry go Soka.”

“Na your mama be ashawo”. I replied, fumbling with my bag and handed the driver a #50 naira note. I stepped out of the vehicle and rubbed my face. I managed to stifle a yawn.

The day was just breaking. People were caught in the morning rush. The traffic was already building. It has always been so since the rehabilitation of the Challenge – Orita bypass. I crossed to the other side of the road and flagged a bike home.

******
I must have been sleeping for a while. For when my phone rang and I checked the time, it was a quarter past two. The sun was high in the sky and the heat was intense. PHCN had not restored the light since I left home last night. My refrigerator tells me so.
I picked the call and the calm baritone voice that sends shivers down my spine was on the other end of the line, Andy.

“Hello babe, where have you been? I’ve been calling for a while.”

“I’m sorry dear, I was taking a nap. Where are you?” I asked.

“I’m around the city. I just returned from Abuja last night. I’ve missed you badly.”

“Really?” I feigned ignorance. “I miss you too. Am I seeing you tonight?” I asked.

“Sure love. I just need to tidy a few things before picking you up. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“Oh! Cool. I’m at home and waiting for you. I miss your touch too.” I replied excitedly.

“See you soon dear.” Andy said and the line went dead.

I dashed into the bath tub to freshen up. Two things happen when Andy comes to town.
Money and Steamy, raunchy, hot Sex.
The money will make up for the amount that stupid “son of a whore” Bitrus stole from me.

“But what surprise could Andy have for me?” I wondered as I had my shower.

Andy and I have come a long way. We met on the “job”. He told me right on the spot that he likes me and wants me for keepsake. On one condition though. That I leave the streets and he’ll take care of me. He has kept his word. Although he doesn’t stay around, he’s always on a business trip and I miss him a lot. That’s why I go out once in a while; when Andy is not around.

Just as I stepped out of the tub. I heard a rap on the door. It must be Andy. He’s got a signature knock.
I rushed to answer the door and beheld Andy beaming with smiles. I jumped into his arms and he cupped me, off the ground. I buried my head into his neck. Sniffing his classic signature Cologne Bvlgari.

“I missed you dearie” Andy cooed into my ears, nibbling them at the same time. His wet warm tongue sent spasms through my entire being.

“I missed you too honey” I replied covering his lips with a long kiss.

The taste of chocolate flavored vodka on his tongue heightened the pleasure. The sensations in my body was like a raging wild forest fire.
Andy stepped inside the room and managed to lock the door with one hand, while holding me with the other.
Having done that, he placed me gently on the bed, peeling the towel off me slowly and kissing every inch of my skin. I began to purr like a cat being stroked by her mistress. I am dying, Andy is killing me and I’m loving it.

************
STRANGE BEDS © 2014
Obafemi Fawibe
25BF14B3
@phemyte

Three Lessons Pee-ing In A Bottle Taught Me About Talent and Self Discovery

 

 “if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it would live its entire life thinking it’s stupid.”-Albert Einstein

urinatinginbottles-300x203
pee in a bottle

 

            There’s a common argument about what a man can do a woman can do better. Both parties cite instances of how one surpasses the other in various activities. Ridiculous and hilarious as it sounds, the only instance where a woman has not been able to outdo a man is this; much as a woman tries, she cannot accurately pee in a bottle without spilling her by-product of deamination all over the place. A man on the other hand can perform this feat.

What this scenario tells me every time the argument occurs is just a simple truth that I have summed in three points:

1. A man can pee and a woman can pee: They are both skilled and gifted. Everyone has an area of gifting. No matter how useless or skill-less you think you are, there is something you are talented with. You might not have discovered it yet, but it’s there.

2. A man’s member is more suited to pee-ing in a bottle than that of a woman. So it’s not only about having talents and discovering what skills you have. It’s sometimes about in what areas you are gifted at.

3. The discovery of what you can do with your talent and how is your prerogative. – For a man to pee in a bottle without spilling, he needs to bring the bottle close to his member and execute the project. This is where knowing how to use your talent comes into play. No matter how gifted you are, if you have no idea how to use it, you perform below par and make a mess of yourself. No matter how suited a man’s member is designed to pee in a bottle, if he stands at a distance to pee in the bottle, the best he can do is quarter or half the bottle.

         Albert Einstein once said, if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it would live its entire life thinking it’s stupid.” However, @ofilispeaks has his version of the quote which is quite apt for this post. “If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it would not only live its entire life thinking it’s stupid, it would live its life thinking it’s inferior to the monkey.”

        So what this implies is this, comparing men and women along some parallel lines can be dumb. Why not just acknowledge the unique virtues in each sex and appreciate their differences. That we are different doesn’t mean we are better than each other.

 

You have a different view? kindly use the comment box below to share your opinions. You can also follow me on twitter, @phemyte thanks.

[MUST READ] When Is The Right Time To Pursue Your Dream?

“There will never be a perfect time to pursue your dreams. #JustDoIt ”

A young man seeking to know when exactly is the right time to pursue his dreams and ambitions conducted a three question survey with two groups. The first group were people above the age of 25 years while the other group were people below the age of 25. The three questions he asked were:

1. If you could do anything right now, what would you do?
2. Are you doing it right now?
3. Why not?

The group of people above the age of twenty-five answered the first question with myriads of answers. Some wanted to start businesses, travel the world, write books etc.
To the second question ” Are you doing it right now?” They unanimously answered “No”

To the third question “why not?”; they gave three answers ranging from having

a. “No time” they had to go to work, meet responsibilities and make time for family.

b. ” No Money.” Their dreams required money. They needed money to build businesses or travel or publish a book.

c. “They were too old.” They said they felt too old to pursue their dreams. With youngsters starting businesses in their teen age, they thought it was ridiculous for them to be competing with their siblings or their kids age mate as the case may be.

To the second group of people below the age of twenty five years.
They also gave similar answers. They wanted to start businesses, travel the world, write books for children, etc.

Were they doing it? No

Why not? They also gave three answers.

1. They had no time. With school work, practice, home works etc. There was no time left for their dreams.

2. They had no money and no one was ready to fund their dreams. Perhaps if they had a job, they could use the money but they had no job either.

3. They also said they were too young. They lacked the experience needed to pursue their dreams.

So when exactly is the right time? Is age twenty five the magic number?

You see, the world has a way of playing on your intelligence. Holding you back from taking action. “You are too young.” “You are too old” “You can’t afford it.” How will you sustain it? No one has ever done that.” Yet in the end when you allow the force of inertia to overcome you, the same society, same environment and family will come back to haunt you. Telling you how you have led a useless life.

Steve Jobs, the great digital revolutionary and co-founder of Apple sums it up in these words.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big decisions in life. Because everything else, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving what is truly important in life. – steve jobs.

The best way is to do first and let posterity judge you right or wrong. The time is now. There will never be a perfect time to do all you ever want or need to do.

Before you close this page, let me ask you these same questions:

1. If you could do anything right now, what would you do?
2. Are you doing it right now?
3. Why not?

I hope you find answers to propel you to action. You can follow me on twitter @phemyte.

#FLASHFICTION : STRANGE BEDS EPISODE 2

{STRANGE BEDS EPISODE 2}

I must have dozed off watching that movie. I felt a thud on my scantily covered torso. My host tossed a wad of #500 notes on me.

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my left hand and picked the wad of cash with the other.

He was fully dressed and ready to go. He bent over and kissed my temple.

“I’ll see you soon” he said holding my gaze, then he left.

I counted the money in my hand #50,000 naira. A smile played on my lips. We’ll surely see soon.
Meanwhile, I need to freshen up and get out of here before that “son of a whore” comes knocking.

Running into the bath tub, I soaked myself in the hot vapor of the shower and scrubbed my body. Scrubbing is just a ritual, no matter how long or hard I scrub, I can’t seem to get off the sweat, stench and hands of different men off me. The filth is psychological. As I scrubbed, memories of the last romp filtered into my mind. My host was a little bit composed this time. I guess the booze has cleared from his system. He took his time to touch me in a few right places, though not for long. I began to touch my self. My thought sailed to Andy. He’s the only one that elicits this kind of response from my body. I think its time to pay him a visit. He should be back from Abuja. I got out of the tub and daubed my body with a towel. Time to get out of this rat hole. I’ll put a call through to Andy as I leave. I opened the bathroom door and there he was, perched like a bird watching the earthworm wriggle out of its hole; ready to devour its prey.

Bitrus the hotel manager was sitting on the bed. Yes that “son of a whore”…

*************

“Hello pretty, how market? I can see the god of fortune smiled on you today.” Bitrus said; waving the wad of notes my host had paid me.

Holy Crap! I had carelessly dropped it on the bed as I hastened to take my shower.

“Give me that, you bastard.” I said as I rushed at him. He was quick to dodge me and I fell on the bed, right beside him.

Bitrus pinned me with his broad frame and yanked off the towel on me.

“You will pay for this you bastard.”
I muttered under his heavy frame.
Without hesitation he took me right there. I lay helpless and started crying.

With a loud grunt which signified his come, he rolled off me. Bitrus dropped the wad of notes beside me and left the room grinning sheepishly.
I grabbed the money he dropped and counted #20,000. Tears flooded my face all over. That “son of a gun” has made away with #30,000 naira. With blurry eyes I hurriedly packed my belongings and left the room.

Once I left the premises of the hotel, I trekked a few metres from the gate to get a cab. A black primera parked beside me asking where I was headed to.

“Challenge?” I said. “E wole (enter)” the driver replied. I hopped into the front seat and wiped the tears off my face.

“I no get change O, I just dey start work.” The driver told me. I nodded.

The driver sped off like he was on the cast of “fast and furious”. I looked at him quizzically and he smiled.

“Oga no be Lagos Express way we dey O, why you dey speed like this now?” I asked hysterically.

Just then a hand with a white handkerchief emerged from behind and gagged me….

To be continued.

********

STRANGE BEDS © 2014
Obafemi Fawibe
@phemyte